"Remember they are people too."

"I've been in sunny California for about a month now. Day to day I feel like I am exploring not only my new surroundings, but the different aspects of what I can only refer to as "me." This experience of branching-out is so multi-faceted, I'm dissappointed in my lack of attention to documenting the process, but I can confidently say that the progress I feel I've made in self-exploration has been significant. Fall semester approaches..."

I wrote that about a month ago and never followed up to post from the draft I had started. Sorry readers. The title is a quote from a friend of mine, reminding me to be confident in my new surroundings and to remember that I have things to offer out here too. Time seems to be passing quickly as every moment and new experience blends into this mysterious composition that I just so happen to be a part of. And here I am, still afloat, surviving in the Inland Empire of Southern California. I've been terrible about blogging since I arrived.  Post-panic attack this morning and some tears of frustration later, I'm here, calmer than earlier, in-tune and ready to give the day another shot. Ready to share some of the things I have been working on as a more organized recollection of events and stories to tell. This may be a long blog, so I'll push "save" often. Buckle in and please feel free to take breaks.

I am currently enrolled in four classes: College Algebra, which I will not be posting any work from (you're welcome), Contemporary Art Theory and Criticism, Drawing I, and Ceramics I. The instructors at the CSU-SB campus are phenomenal; each has has an incredibly interesting bio and collection of work to share. I will see what I can do to dig up more information on each of them at a later date.

Ceramics has really caught me by surprise. I have no prior experience working with clay and only several discouraging "learning attempts" working with three-dimensional forms. I took a 3-D design class at the University of Kansas when I was 18 years-old and have dreaded sculpture and 3-D design ever since. Something about it was very frustrating for me at the time. I couldn't grasp the concepts and felt discouraged. I had done so well in the first design class that I took that I wasn't prepared to be so...bad at something. I had great control with a paintbrush but my sculptures never seemed to come together. Looking back, it wasn't that I was bad at it, I just had no experience at pushing my designs or developing my ideas. I think when you're younger, you're more likely to believe that you should take your first idea and run with it. Given some major life experience, you become more aware that often the best solution doesn't become apparent until you have dug and made mistakes and taken a lot of wrong turns. Not to say that is always the case, but a good idea often has room for improvement. Sarah really helped me realize that this last semester. Sometimes you're going to make work that doesn't turn out the way you'd hoped (see my first glazing experiment below) and sometimes your mistakes become happy accidents that result in really phenomenal pieces. Overall maybe my self-comfort levels have grown and  I don't feel so burdened by potential mishap. I'm glad I was able to revisit college. I feel as though I have a lot more to give it back this time. I am in the middle of a love affair with clay. I find myself spending all of the free time that I can in the studio and love the creative possibilities of working with this medium. I have literally been dreaming about it and ponder the work throughout my day. After my experience at KU, I hadn't really seen that coming.


Our first project was to make two hand-built mugs. Mine turned out pretty so-so. The texture I added wasn't very successful and I got a little too ambitious with their shape, but I'm happy with the result of my first attempt. I know that there will be many mugs to come and these will only be the equivalent of baby pictures in the photo-album of my work.

After our mugs were prepared for their first firing, we moved onto another project. Our assignment was to research masks of various cultures and choose a style that we felt a connection to. We would then create a design that somehow combined modern influence with the culture of our choosing. I chose to start with Balinese Batik masks as premise for my design. The masks reminded me of flash tattoo drawings which often have bold outlines and stippling similar to the dots on these ancient pieces. The Batik masks often have very detailed headdresses adorned with jewels and blossoms, similar to flash drawings of gypsy women. I've always had an affinity for this style of tattoo, but always felt like it would be silly to get one of my own. I like the drawings, but I'm at a tattoo-standstill currently, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to explore the designs without adding any other drawings to my body. Currently, my piece for this project is ready for final decoration. I will be painting the woman's face and headdress with acrylics and she will be complete. Below you will see a progression of this design's process.

Example of Balinese Batik mask (okokchina.com)

Flash Tattoo drawing of gypsy woman profile

Preliminary sketch of design for mask project

First stage of hand-building mask

Green-ware stage of mask

Mask with underglaze detail

Mask with clear glaze after final firing.

I am very pleased with the way this project is developing. I had a small hiccup while carving out the back of the mask. The area around the left eye was damaged as my tool carved through the back. The underglaze shading on the cheeks did not blend as well as I had hoped it would, but now I know just how much those colors really pop once you glaze the piece. I hope once I add the details with acrylic, the damage will be less noticeable. 

For our next project, we began designing hand-built coil pots. Originally we were instructed to create a design using similar methods as the mask project, but after I got about half-way up the height of my building, I had a long chat with my professor about some of the art we found inspirational. I brought up Andy Goldsworthy during our conversation, and after talking a little bit about the work of his that I have seen and then a little bit about how much I miss the trees in Kansas during autumn, my assignment was redirected. My professor challenged me to create a work meant for outdoor installation, and I decided my old pot wasn't going to cut it. I failed to take a picture before recycling the clay to start on my new design because I was so excited to get started. I envisioned my pot hanging in one of the maple trees outside of the ceramics studio. I wanted the body of the pot to have both negative and positive space so that it the leaves and body of the tree could be seen through the sides of the pot. I have a fondness for acorns thanks to Piper, my Wichita roommate and designed my pot to have a similar shape. I started by building three coil pieces that would connect around a mold to form the body of the pot:

After some dillagent searching for the perfect mold, the kitchenaid mixing bowl from my roommates well-stocked kitchen helped my pot begin to take shape. I patched and connected all of the pots week spots and left it out to shrink and dry and moved onto tackling the pot's lid.

I wanted to create my own texture for the top of the piece. My idea was to create a slab that resembled the bark of a tree without using the imprint of the bark. I then built the clay strips around a plaster mold to build a bowl that would rest over the top of the coil pot. The result looks pretty gnarly.

After the body of the pot dried enough to remove from the pot, I snapped a few more photos:

While I was on campus writing this entry, the body of the piece was pulled out of the kiln. It was mistakenly put into a kiln with too high of a temperature to allow the clay to shrink without cracking, so  I now have about 8 pieces to fuze together in the last firing. Or I'll be starting over...but I think I was onto something that could turn into a successful design.

Here are some pictures of work I have done outside of class for fun:

More later. I am very excited about all of the projects I have coming up this semester and can't wait to share them as I go. Thanks for reading!

A Fresh Start

I finally arrived in Oceanside, CA last Sunday after a fantastic, fun-filled drive accompanied by my best friend Benji. The summer flew by and I am so thankful for all the love and such a fabulous send-off by all my favorite Wichitans! We spent the night in an unusual Motel in Grand Junction, CO on the first night of our trip and had quite an adventure in Las Vegas on our second night while on the road. The Beatles "Love" Cirque de Soleil show is an absolute must see if you're ever in Vegas. We splurged on tickets for the show at the Mirage Hotel and MAN was it worth it! I cried twice and we were on the edge of our seats the whole time!!

I had my first day at my internship working with artist Jen Stark yesterday in Los Angeles. The freeways are no joke, but her place was easy to find and is located in one of the neatest LA neighborhoods I have ever seen. I am so excited to have the opportunity to work with such an amazing artist and meet all of the other artists currently in her company along the way. Her work stunning in person...I can't express to you how hard it was to stifle my excitement in her studio yesterday! She put me right to work. After a long summer working nothing but late bar shifts and dragging myself to that 8 AM Art History Course week after week, helping her paint was such a calm and relaxing experience I was practically ready for bed by the time I got home around 7:30 PM. I still can't believe how everything has come together so far. I'll be checking a few places out for living space this weekend and hope to find something soon. Time to keep this momentum rolling as I gear up for an exciting first year in Southern California! Can't wait to share all of my experiences along the way!

Good News!

At only two months away, my departure date is slowly creeping up on me. I enrolled in my classes for the Fall 2012 quarter at California State University - San Bernardino last week. I have decided to take Drawing, Ceramics, and 3-D design, which add up to a little less of a course load than I had originally planned in order to allow some time to adjust to my new surroundings. I am incredibly excited to get started!

Last week, the idea struck me to ask artist Jen Stark if she would need any intern help in LA in the fall. She is moving to LA around the same time as I plan to, and often posts about intern opportunities in Florida on her Twitter account. I sent her a quick message and am absolutely delighted to share that I will have the chance to assist her in LA as she prepares for a show at the Martha Otero Gallery in September. My excitement about my move is now multiplying exponentially. What an incredible blessing all of this has turned out to be! I am so grateful for all of the encouragement I have received. I just want to high-five everyone within sight!

I have started a few creative projects since the semester's end, which I plan to upload very soon. I have a few things I would like to source out before my move, one of which being a new camera so that I may better document my adventures this year. Great things seem to be in store and I encourage all of you to take a chance on something in your own life! At 24, I may be finally over the fear of hearing the word "no." I hope to spend less time worrying and more time actively pursuing my goals. Don't let the hard parts slow you down!

Triadic Color Scheme

Portfolio Cover for Design II

Triadic Color Harmony: Yellow-Green / Blue-Purple / Red-Orange

The Geodesic Art Compound

Exterior Perspective Drawing: Geodesic Art Compound

The structure of my design is intended to provide a space for creative minds to meet, collaborate and construct various artworks. The space will serve as a gathering place for un-established artistic minds of the community to meet and encourage each other to stay actively involved in a creative environment. In this space, art can be both produced and exhibited while awareness of local artists in the community is encouraged and enhanced. The use of recycled materials in the building’s exterior structure as well as interior design will encourage interest in utilization and value of found materials in the community, specifically as used in artistic creation. My hope is that young artists will gradually outgrow the commune and go on to spread awareness and support of the next generation of artists to flow through, creating an ever-evolving and malleable common place that reflects the talent and creativity of the community.

Floor Plan: Level One

building will have one entrance on the lower level. Upon entering the building, you will first notice a display on the wall facing the front door. The display will be created by the contributing artists and will tell the story of the current exhibition or works in progress. As you walk around the lower perimeter of the building, you will notice loosely defined workspaces, separated only by tables, carts and chairs in use. The furniture will all be repositionable to allow for impromptu repositioning to accommodate collaboration or exhibition. Shelves and chalkboards will line alternating walls and provide storage for various art supplies. Each workspace will be designed to accommodate various projects including photography, sculpture, drawing and painting. The center structure within the dome will contain both a men’s and women’s bathroom as well as an ADA compliant elevator that will provide access to the upper story and inner balcony. On the exterior of the bathroom, a large sink made from a recycled tub will provide water for artists to wash their brushes and clean their supplies. Bookcases will line the other walls surrounding the bathrooms and elevator, providing space for donated books, magazines, and reading materials.

Floor Plan: Level Two

The upper level will consist of a balcony, 3’ in width, which will wind around the inner perimeter of the building. Along the walls of the dome, artists will have space to hang art work that may be observed from the balcony. The balcony will connect to the a lounge area that will stretch along the diameter of the structure. This area will host various lounge furniture and have places for refreshments to be set out in the event of exhibition. This area will double as a gathering area for artists to discuss present and future projects.

The dome that will rest upon the walls of the structure will be a spectacle within itself. Glass panes assembled from variously sized shards of recycled glass will allow brilliant, natural light to flow through the compound. Light fixtures created from found and recycled materials will hang from the structural components of the dome. Artists will also have the ability to hang artwork from the roof of the dome, further enhancing the space as an artistic haven.

This type of structure is adaptable to various climate and terrain. The curved roof creates a highly weather-able structure suitable for winds native to Kansas and Southern California. I believe this design concept would work well in an urban area in which the art community could use a little revitalization. For example, downtown Wichita is highly saturated by the art community, but little artistic flavor is apparent in the more suburbial parts of town. I think this space would be ideally set in an area surrounded by neighborhoods and away from the downtown area, similar to the placement of the pottery center at Douglas and Meridian in West Wichita. I would like for the structure to be accessible by people of the community so that awareness and support can help manifest its growth.

Interior Perspective Drawing: Preliminary Sketch

The simplicity of the design of the structure will allow members of the community to become involved in its assembly. Ideally, the first artists who wish to use the space for exhibition would be involved in its creation and could utilize the first exhibition to tell the story of its birth in the community. The structure and all that it contains will be built up from as much existing and recycled material as can be found within the community. Tables and benches will be built out of recycled wood and light fixtures and sinks will be created out of found materials such as recycled wheelbarrows and prescription pill bottles. The structure will be built from walls made from recycled sheet metal and wood and will support a dome with window panels created from recycled pieces of glass. The structure itself is designed to be as artistic as the work intended to be made within its walls. My design is merely a suggestion of the proposed layout and shape of the structure. Depending on what material is found and incorporated into the assembly of furniture and light fixtures, the final product of the interior design may transform.

Interior Perspective Drawing: Digital Rendering

I have chosen the colors blue-green, yellow-green, and red for the color theme of the interior. Psychologically, blue encourages productivity. Green is soothing and creates a serene environment. Red accelerates and energizes the body and mind. I believe the combination of this color scheme will encourage productivity and creativity and seem inviting to newcomers. In addition to their affect on mood and productivity, I believe these colors are more natural and less distracting than some of the other colors on the color wheel, which may interfere with productivity and the creative process. When black is added to both yellow-green and blue-green, the colors are very earthy and muted. The lounge area located on the upper level will be decorated using the complementary colors yellow-green and red-violet. The yellow green will help tie the color scheme in with the rest of the interior’s structure. Red-violet is a calming, luxurious color, which I believe will help people relax in this area.

I believe that our culture has a substantial lack of this type of environment in the community. Not only do most places charge to use studio space, but instruction of any kind can be extremely expensive. I believe the building of this design would promote community involvement and support for the arts. The building could be erected at extremely low cost and the design is simple enough that people with little to no carpentry knowledge could significantly contribute to its creation. In addition to supporting the art community, the design would encourage the use and transformation of found and recycled materials. The world we live in is oblivious to the amount of waste we produce. A large amount of what we throw out could easily be transformed into beautifully unique and useful objects and materials. Instructables.com offers thousands of ideas on how to create furniture and utilizable objects using recycled materials. The value in using what we already have is undeniable. I believe this is an important credo for all artists as we are often operating on low budgets. The space would encourage the sharing of knowledge and materials and involvement in the community.

Dome Construction (Vellum & Balsa Wood)

During this project, I struggled with the initial design and shape of the building’s structure. After researching geodesic structures, I found an instructional website that
explained the building process for similar designs. After building my own model, I tweaked my design and was able to begin working on the details of the interior. Because the interior is essentially one open space, the creative freedom was limitless. I believe the open-aspect of the design would encourage collaboration as well as malleability.

Great post on why your degree is NOT useless...

intern[life]: useless? (click link)

Playing Catch Up

I woke up this morning at about 10:00 AM after a long night of work which was concluded by about two hours of heartfelt conversation with one of my favorite people. I crawled into bed around 4:45 AM, tired and feeling beat down and somehow managed to quiet my thoughts long enough to fall asleep. Today I woke up feeling stiff and feverish. I take my vitamins, eat healthy, quit smoking and drink eight glasses of water a day. I think the stress and anxiety I have been feeling has finaly peaked...and my body is ready to sweat it out.

I've felt a lot of anger recently. I choke my emotions down when they start to get in the way of my ability to happily go about my day and I'm left feeling pretty monotone and tired. Lately I feel like the negativity I try to suffocate creeps up on me at the slightest little upset. I've become weary of close relationships and feel consumed by loss. I feel as though I have lost my center. I'm fighting to feel comfortable in my own skin again and to embrace my life as well as my losses.

My dad told me once that life likes to test you when you're on the right path and that if something really challenges you, you should never walk away. It is how you can tell you're after something your heart truly wants, but boy do I feel like life is testing me right now.

I bring this up because I feel like this is my chance to charge forward in life. In September I will hop in my car and make a two day journey out to Southern California to spend a year as a guest student at CSU-SB. My best friend left two weeks ago to move to Melbourne, Australia. I have been hurt and upset about him leaving again, after just a few short months of time together scattered between work and class. I don't think I really understood why he wanted to go until now. He hinted at the need for solitude in his life right now so that he could heal. While I still (stubbornly) insist that we could have done it together, today I understand that need. Who knows, all the solitude I need may be the long roadtrip to my destination, but I hope for therapy. I don't know who I will become when it is all said and done, but I feel ready to move on. Ready to make the first step and see what is out there for me. I don't want to let my past hold me back any longer.

California here I come.