Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Playing Catch Up
I woke up this morning at about 10:00 AM after a long night of work which was concluded by about two hours of heartfelt conversation with one of my favorite people. I crawled into bed around 4:45 AM, tired and feeling beat down and somehow managed to quiet my thoughts long enough to fall asleep. Today I woke up feeling stiff and feverish. I take my vitamins, eat healthy, quit smoking and drink eight glasses of water a day. I think the stress and anxiety I have been feeling has finaly peaked...and my body is ready to sweat it out.
I've felt a lot of anger recently. I choke my emotions down when they start to get in the way of my ability to happily go about my day and I'm left feeling pretty monotone and tired. Lately I feel like the negativity I try to suffocate creeps up on me at the slightest little upset. I've become weary of close relationships and feel consumed by loss. I feel as though I have lost my center. I'm fighting to feel comfortable in my own skin again and to embrace my life as well as my losses.
My dad told me once that life likes to test you when you're on the right path and that if something really challenges you, you should never walk away. It is how you can tell you're after something your heart truly wants, but boy do I feel like life is testing me right now.
I bring this up because I feel like this is my chance to charge forward in life. In September I will hop in my car and make a two day journey out to Southern California to spend a year as a guest student at CSU-SB. My best friend left two weeks ago to move to Melbourne, Australia. I have been hurt and upset about him leaving again, after just a few short months of time together scattered between work and class. I don't think I really understood why he wanted to go until now. He hinted at the need for solitude in his life right now so that he could heal. While I still (stubbornly) insist that we could have done it together, today I understand that need. Who knows, all the solitude I need may be the long roadtrip to my destination, but I hope for therapy. I don't know who I will become when it is all said and done, but I feel ready to move on. Ready to make the first step and see what is out there for me. I don't want to let my past hold me back any longer.
California here I come.
I've felt a lot of anger recently. I choke my emotions down when they start to get in the way of my ability to happily go about my day and I'm left feeling pretty monotone and tired. Lately I feel like the negativity I try to suffocate creeps up on me at the slightest little upset. I've become weary of close relationships and feel consumed by loss. I feel as though I have lost my center. I'm fighting to feel comfortable in my own skin again and to embrace my life as well as my losses.
My dad told me once that life likes to test you when you're on the right path and that if something really challenges you, you should never walk away. It is how you can tell you're after something your heart truly wants, but boy do I feel like life is testing me right now.
I bring this up because I feel like this is my chance to charge forward in life. In September I will hop in my car and make a two day journey out to Southern California to spend a year as a guest student at CSU-SB. My best friend left two weeks ago to move to Melbourne, Australia. I have been hurt and upset about him leaving again, after just a few short months of time together scattered between work and class. I don't think I really understood why he wanted to go until now. He hinted at the need for solitude in his life right now so that he could heal. While I still (stubbornly) insist that we could have done it together, today I understand that need. Who knows, all the solitude I need may be the long roadtrip to my destination, but I hope for therapy. I don't know who I will become when it is all said and done, but I feel ready to move on. Ready to make the first step and see what is out there for me. I don't want to let my past hold me back any longer.
California here I come.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
First attempt at 3-D Modeling
After starting our latest project, I began to have some difficulty rendering a 2-point perspective sketch of a building that doesn't exist and have decided to build a model of the building to help improve my design. I purchased some vellum and balsa wood at the craft store and looked up plans used for geodesic homes. So far, I have about half of the roof completed.
Now...back to work!
Monday, April 2, 2012
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